A lot of us believe that when people leave our lives during difficult times, it means that there is something wrong with us.
We use it as proof that we’re inadequate and unloveable and a burden. We internalize their abandonment and decide that we’re bad people and friends, and therefore, unworthy of having future friendships and being loved.
But the truth is that anyone who is only willing to stick around when things are good and easy isn’t someone worth investing time in.
The truth, is that there is nothing wrong with who who you are.
Your struggles don’t define you.
They don’t invalidate the person you are and they don’t discount the times you’re doing well.
You’re struggles don’t make you weak or inadequate or unloveable—they make you human.
And if certain people decide to base your worth as a human being, and a friend, on your inner demons, they don’t deserve your friendship.
Because ultimately, their judgement towards your struggles and their unwillingness to support you when you’re in need says much, much more about them than it does about you.
You deserve to have people in your life who are willing to stick around throughout the good and the bad.
You deserve to be seen as more than your struggles.
You deserve to be loved and accepted wholeheartedly, without conditions.
You deserve these things because you exist and therefore you matter.
Your feelings matter. Your experiences matter. And your needs matter.
Instead of focusing on all the people who have left, hold onto and remember all the people who have stayed.
They stayed for a reason—they stayed because they love you, because they care, and because they value the person you are, regardless of your struggles.
These are the people who matter.
Let go of the rest.
And realize that when people leave your life, they are making room for new, often better people to enter.
So the next time someone chooses to leave because you don’t fit their definition of “good enough”, remind yourself that they are doing you a favor.
Remind yourself that there are other people out there, waiting for someone like you.
People who will recognize your strengths and talents.
People who will enjoy your company and value your insight and friendship.
People who appreciate you for exactly the person you are.
Remind yourself of the lessons the person who left has taught you, give yourself permission to feel the feelings that come with their loss, and then let them go.
New and better things away you.
You are so much more than your struggles, and if certain people can’t see that, then they don’t deserve to have a place in your life.